Crispy. Savory. Ready to get you through the rest of Passover

Gluten-free matzah pizza with sautéed wild oyster mushrooms, firm mozzarella, fresh mozzarella, and olive oil

I’m pretty sure I remember something in the Passover story about how matzah pizza got our ancestors through their escape from Egypt. It certainly helps us get through eight days of Passover. It’s comforting, delicious, and quick to make. Eat it with a salad full of greens and herbs, and you’re even getting some of the fiber we tend to be lacking this week––at least for those who don’t eat kitniyot.

But if you can’t eat gluten, matzah pizza is a little more difficult. Gluten-free matzah tends to fall…

Photos of 11 animal nominees, plus a raccoon whose face is crossed out. Photos are repeated individually below.
Photos of 11 animal nominees, plus a raccoon whose face is crossed out. Photos are repeated individually below.
Meet the nominees. (Photo credits with images below.)

You’ve seen those memes calling the raccoon the official animal of 2020 for wearing a mask, being an (almost) anagram of “corona,” and washing hands incessantly. Sounds sensible, till you see the holes — in the mask. Yup, a raccoon’s mask is an eye mask. I’m pretty sure the CDC designates that “utterly useless.” Plus, raccoons don’t care about social distancing.

In this time of enormous grief, loss, despair, and public health challenges––exacerbated by disinformation, inequities, and greed––we could use a comforting wildlife mascot that takes safety and social distancing seriously.

Also, the adorable trash pandas are happiest grazing at…

Dear the Jewish People,

In these difficult times, I, Elijah the Prophet, and the whole Heaven team remain committed to your health and safety. We want you to know we’re taking COVID-19 seriously, to prevent you and your loved ones from joining us too soon. That’s why this year, we’ve had to make some changes. Which, frankly, is kind of a pain in my tuchus.

In normal years, you can count on me not to flake and RSVP “maybe” to your important events. I show up at Passover for wine (even if it’s that crap Manischewitz). I’m on time to…

Seattle Online Dating Tips For Coronavirus

COVID-19 is here. Can Seattle update how we date?

Coronavirus? Seattle, we’ve got this — some of us, literally. Social distancing is our [blackberry] jam. Even in non-pandemic times, we cancel plans, scowl at gray skies, and nap with our laptops. We basically have the social skills of cats.

If you’re single, don’t envy folks quarantined with their honey; they’ll get sick of (or from) each other soon. Just update how you date­­ — without leaving home.

Like teleworkers, dating apps still kinda work in a pandemic — just differently. So no need to become un-Hinged, fear Quarantinder, or say OKCovid.

Though for…

Deborah Gardner

Public health professional, writer, and pun perpetuator living in Seattle, WA.

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